Sometimes, the language helps us to reformulate the reality or perpetuate it in their vices. When we express the message of our interlocutor with other similar words (sometimes euphemistic and sometimes more adjusted to reality), we can help you find a new approach in the solution. One older person can tell us: my daughter is a descastada and one undesirable that never remembers me. (Source: MRC Biostatistics Unit). Our response can not reassert that view since it would deepen the chasm between mother and daughter and even get into a problem with the family. More info: University of Cambridge. In fact, when our task will be to try to rebuild ties. Without removing the reason we respond something like: I understand, are very disgusted with the attitude of your daughter. The most frequent error of whom reformulates is to faithfully reproduce the opinion of another person. In the example that we are discussing the leg could put responding: If, as I understand it, I realized that her daughter is a miserable that has forgotten about you.
And some volunteers will end with a formula fatal: but don’t worry, I’m here that I will come to see you. Only thus we got more rouse the spirits of the other person, without causing you any emotional relief and few practical compensation. It is often more successful to start conversations – especially with strangers – when we use themes neutral, outside personnel waiting for the other (this place is nice, he saw the game yesterday?, do you hear about what happened this morning in the gran Via?, we have a time of dogs) if we have opportunity, is very advantageous to know beforehand the centres of interest of the other person. In the case of older persons, their centers of interest can turn lathe to his family or his memories; If we talk about children, games, computers, football, school topics that we can use to attract their interest and playing more forward other issues). Recommended, in general, the use of open (and what questions did it happen?, how do you feel?, why it affected you both that matter?) rather than the closed (how many years do you have?, where would you have gone this morning?, which disease do you have?, etc).
Open-ended questions leave more freedom to another to give an answer with which you feel comfortable; in a few cases it will require and leave unpleasant aspects in which you do not want to enter in the air. We can use tastes and opinions questions to keep the conversation. We can practically ask opinion about any topic to another person. According to the degree of confidence that we can join that person, we can ask him about affairs more light (sport, weather, cinema), or on matters relating to news, politics, religion etc that give rise to more personal conversations and more courageous opinions. In any other field, such as social skills, volunteers are apprentices who we have to move with prudence, caution and humility.